Bold is a New Synonym for Stupidity

09-08-16

Football does a great job annually of making everyone in America look like idiots! How do we prove our validity as morons? Predictions. 

Predictions can take many forms through an NFL fan. Sometimes it is shown through the people we draft on our fantasy football teams. How many people entered last season thinking Colin Kaepernick was going to be a reliable starting quarterback and not a bust that would get sidelined for Blaine Gabbert? Instead of working himself back to the top spot after the demotion, the only thing Kaep ended up throwing in 2015 was the towel-in. (1)

Sometimes we literally wear our idiotic-predictions on our sleeves with clothing that supports the NFL franchise/players of our choosing. Hence the 2014 season when the number three top-selling NFL jersey belonged to Johnny Manziel. (2)

But mostly, we just inform others of our opinions on NFL predictions through discussion expression platforms. Hence blog posts like this, water fountain interactions and Facebook/Twitter feeds all over. And why do we make ourselves vulnerable to this almost certain predetermined claim to stupidity? JUST IN CASE WE GET THE CHANCE TO BE CORRECT! Which has been enough to inspire me to utilize my own platform as well.

Some will define things like NFL predictions that are found to be most outrageously idiotic as another term; BOLD! For the sake of saving future face I will not substitute the secondary term; here goes my IDIOTIC NFL playoff/miscellaneous predictions for the 2016-2017 season.

Of course, things will alter the chances of all these predictions becoming correct but what’s the fun in thinking you’re anything but invincible? Truth is, the odds of an NFL starting line-up staying the same are about as likely as KFC sticking to one new Colonel Sanders. Injuries will happen that will make these somewhat likely playoff scenarios take a label of idiocracy but if they don’t they will make the ability to brag about my genius that much sweeter! And that’s why we do it! That’s why we make predictions! So this way come Christmas time when we go to the annual office holiday party or those big family/friend celebrations we can toast to our psychic abilities we don’t actually have in everyone’s favorite line; “I told ya so!”

Most likely, this article won’t be read by the majority of the public. It will simply be washed for your handheld screen with a swipe of a finger or scrolled-over on whatever social media feed it graces. So why publish it? For just in case scenarios that I actually do get things correct, I will have proof to fall-back on. *Speaking of, that reminds me to make sure to click the save button.* So, yes this week’s Lloyd-Rage blog post was simply for Lloyd. But read it as if it’s for you. That way you can call me a dumbass later under your breath or in the comment section when I’m proven wrong (hopefully it will happen no sooner than week five).

Before we start things that will almost certainly make me look idiotic in five months, here are a few things I feel are almost NFL Certainties we can ALL rely on.

  • The Cleveland Browns will be mediocre.
  • The Houston Texans will not make/win the Super Bowl because of the Super Bowl host-town curse.
  • The New England Patriots will not be affected by Roger Goodell’s suspensions.
  • The Denver Broncos will have a Super Bowl Hangover.
  • Tony Romo will not make the comeback he thinks he will.

HERE WE GO!

DIVISION WINNERS

AFC North – Pittsburgh Steelers. #1 Seed.

AFC East – New England Patriots. #2 Seed.

AFC West – Oakland Raiders. #4 Seed.

AFC South – Indianapolis Colts. #3 Seed.

AFC WILD CARD WINNERS – 

  • Cincinnati Bengals. #5 Seed.
  • Kansas City Chiefs. #6 Seed.

AFC PLAYOFF BREAKDOWN – 

In the AFC Wild Card round the home team’s win with the Raiders overwhelming Andy Dalton and the ‘Bungals’ who will keep up their playoff first round woes. The Colts will overcome a slow-start to the Chiefs as Alex Smith throws three touchdowns and zero interceptions forgoeing him of being the KC scapegoat. Luck will simply dominate the second half with efficient deep throws to move Indy onto the next round.

The AFC divisional weekend will see a shaky Pittsburgh team, struggling with injuries come January, lose to a hot Raiders team that will man-handle Big Ben Roethlisberger to less than 200 yards passing. Indianapolis will finally confront the seemingly everlasting monkey of New England with a dramatic victory in Foxborough thanks to an off day by Brady featuring two picks, a fumble and a muffed snap that aides the Colts to the AFC Championship.

The Colts will flub kissing the princess after sleighing the AFC dragon (New England) in the Championship game leading to the firing of Chuck Pagano following a 30-15 Lucas Oil Stadium loss. The red-hot Raiders will represent the AFC in Super Bowl 51 and spark discussion of dilemma as to keeping the team in Oakland come next off-season.

NFC DIVISION WINNERS – 

NFC North – Green Bay Packers. #1 Seed.

NFC East – New York Giants #4 Seed.

NFC West – Arizona Cardinals. #3 Seed.

NFC South – Carolina Panthers. #2 Seed.

NFC WILD CARD WINNERS – 

  • Seattle Seahawks. # 5 Seed.
  • Detroit Lions. #6 Seed.

NFC PLAYOFF BREAKDOWN – 

Wild Card round. Thanks to Teddy Bridgewater’s injury the Lions will sneak into the NFC playoffs, replacing the Minnesota Vikings ‘would-be’ spot. But D-town will enjoy a short postseason, losing harshly to the Arizona Cardinals in a +30 point blowout! Meanwhile, in New York the Giants will win a dog-fight of a game over Seattle in NYC with Odell Beckham Jr. having a massive game featuring a lot of trash talk with the Legion of Boom’s secondary.

The Green Bay Packers will simply be too much for the Giants in the divisional round, despite the anticipationing headlines of a repeat 2011-12 NYG run. Carolina will falter at home as the dream to repeat an NFC title dies by the hands of the offensively overpowering Arizona Bruce Arians led Cardinals that unlocks the Panther’s otherwise solid defense in a 44-21 win to move onto Lambeau for the NFC Championship.

There’s a big difference between Carolina in January and Green Bay in January. The frigid cold differential will be a factor for the dessert birds as the cheeseheads of GB win big at home to go on to be NFC Champions via 41-18 win.

SUPER BOWL 

It will be a Super Bowl II rematch in Houston when the Packers face the Raiders and after 49 years of waiting for vengeance, Aaron Rodgers will cynically keep the Oakland fans thirsting for 1968 redemption. (3) The ‘Baaaad Man’ will lead a late touchdown drive where he will complete two crucial third-down conversions and eventually hand the ball off to Eddie Lacy for the go-ahead score in an intense but low scoring 20-16 Packer victory. 

OTHER IDIOTIC/BOLD PREDICTIONS –

  • Adrian Peterson suffers a season altering injury midseason, ruining Minnesota’s already dying chances.
  • Rex Ryan is fired before season’s end.
  • Ezekiel Elliot ends up winning the Rookie of the Year.
  • Los Angeles will be sour on the Rams come December.
  • The Beats will give up on Jay Cutler who will be benched by Week 12.
  • Luck has an MVP year.
  • Yeah Browns will earn the label of respectable with Robert Griffin III behind center. Cementing himself as the starter following a 7-9 season.
  • Jimmy Garopollo plays well enough in Tom Brady’s absence to get a better contract with someone else by 2018.
  • Eddie Lacy wins the “Comeback Player of the Year” award.

The prediction game wouldn’t be fun if they weren’t seemingly or proven to be idiotic. The trick is to keep it light-hearted to ensure that it won’t ruin you mentally or possibly physically. Happy NFL Returns Day and make some idiotic prophecies, never know… They may just become BOLD come year’s end!

  1. http://www.businessinsider.com/biggest-fantasy-football-busts-of-2015-2015-12/#colin-kaepernick–qb-san-francisco-49ers-25
  2. http://www.cheatsheet.com/sports/the-7-top-selling-nfl-jerseys-in-2014.html/?a=viewall
  3. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Bowl_II
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Headliners! 07-22-16

Dennis Green; R.I.P.

Quick Reaction; 67 years of life is not that long. However what can make it seem longer is being known for not achieving your ultimate goal within your profession. Dennis Green put together one of the greatest offenses in NFL history as a head coach with the 1998 Minnesota Vikings. Unfortunately Denny will be remembered for that team’s failures rather than their successes. Sadly, he’s tabbed in the file of ‘Great guys who never won a ring’. Even worse, he also will forever be linked to one of the greatest and most infamous NFL sound bites of all time, rather than what he accomplished as a coach. (4) Rest in peace to a phenomenal coach!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aYKIcnj1MJY (3)

J.J. Watt Inury Status: No Preseason, Maybe Week One?

Quick Reaction; So, if Watt is  questionable for week one of the NFL season will the Texans D have a “Q?” behind it on Fantasy Football League trackers? It’s hard to say what definitively caused the need for #99’s injury rehab but my guess is in the future he’ll refrain from wood-chopping commercials and start up the midsize sedan commercials instead. (1)

Ray Rice Will Play for Charity!

Quick Reaction; Probably the saddest part of the Ray Rice scandal from his professional career stand-point is how much it exposed his value! Michael Vick went to jail, came back and was still able to play-on for years after his dog fighting scandal in 2007 (6). Richie Incognito faced massive controversy with a bullying scandal in 2014 (7)… He’s still playing in the league in 2016. The bottom line was that Incognito and Vick had enough player-value to keep their NFL careers going after their scandals. Now, Rice will play for a donation to go towards charity. Despite the bid for a good deed, NFL owners are failing to see the value for an aged running back like Rice enough to risk a roster spot for him. (2)

Adam Silver and the NBA Pull All-Star Game Out of Charlotte Over LGBT Bathroom Status

Quick Reaction; The bad news, sports fans will have to endure more politics within the platform of sports as long as this story is being written. The good news, NBA fans no longer have to go to Charlotte for a weekend! I mean, nothing is more brutal than last year’s host city Toronto in February, still Charlotte seems like a sizable runner-up in the NBA’s “Boring Town” title race to visit for an All-Star Weekend! (5)

  1. http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/17121935/jj-watt-houston-texans-back-surgery-ok-season-opener
  2. https://www.google.com/amp/amp.usatoday.com/story/87380652/?client=safari#
  3. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aYKIcnj1MJY
  4. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000676158/article/dennis-green-exvikings-cardinals-coach-dies-at-67%3fnetworkId=4595&site=.news&zone=story&zoneUrl=url%253Dstory&zoneKeys=s1%253Dstory&env=&pageKeyValues=prtnr%253Daround-the-league%253Bteam%253Darz%253Bteam%253Datl%253Bteam%253Dmin%253Bconf%253Dnfc%253Bdvsn%253Dncw%253Bdvsn%253Dncs%253Bdvsn%253Dncn%253Bplyr%253Dlarry_fitzgerald&p.ct=Around+the+NFL&p.adsm=false&p.tcm=%2523fff&p.bgc1m=%25230964bf&p.bgc2m=%2523053a74&sr=amp?client=safari#
  5. https://www.google.com/amp/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_579114e6e4b0bdddc4d39d1e/amp?client=safari#
  6. http://aldf.org/resources/laws-cases/animal-fighting-case-study-michael-vick/
  7. http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2014/2/14/5411608/worst-of-the-richie-incognito-jonathan-martin-report-miami-dolphins

Headliners! 07-20-16

Ezekiel Elliott and Tom Brady go 1-2 in NFL Jersey Sales (4)

Quick Reaction: The Brady side of this headline does not surprise me nor should it anyone. This day in age it’s the bigger the rebellion, the more people flock to it! Right now the biggest rebellion in the NFL is Tom Brady vs. Roger Goodell and while some don’t like Brady; none like Goodell. Elliott’s sales should not surprise people either! Between Dallas losing last year’s starter (Darren McFadden), the Cowboys having their first real exciting first-round pick since Dez Bryant (5) and Cowboys loving to show off loyalty with things like jerseys it was a perfect storm of branding for the former Buckeye back. Let’s just hope the typical big-bubbaesque Cowboy fans don’t don the crop-top look like Elliott has in the past.


Kobe Bryant’s Player’s Tribune’s Hidden Message In Letter to 17-Year-Old Self

Quick Reaction: Breathe a sigh of relief basketball fans, Kobe’s PlayersTribune.com letter to himself did not imply that he was flirting with his retirement status. (3) Instead, the letter mentioned a lot of too little, too late money decisions that has cost him later in his career. Who knows where exactly the darts of disgust were being targeted but the impact remains. Sure, Kobe can mope and sound-off cryptically at the people who took advantage of him. But maybe he needs to remember his final three years as a Laker while doing so. The injured, aged and overpaid Bryant was in his own way taking advantage of the fans by strangle-holding the Lakers with his massive contract. Maybe, this is just a greater act of karma.

Yao Ming Finally Corrects America; It’s Ming Yao! (2)

Quick Reaction: On the PlayersTribune.com, the ex-Rocket confessed that he was to shy to correct people that they were pronouncing his first name as if it were his last name. So, Yao’s real first name is Ming, but other than maybe Ming should anyone be upset by this? I think most would agree in the U.S. That Ming being better known by Yao was better for him! It’s like a mistaken built in nickname! The only shame in this fiasco is that it proves we are quite unaccustomed as a society to Chinese traditions and culture. Luck fully, Ming didn’t make us suffer to hard for it! Question is now, do we continue on calling him Yao?

When Will Kershaw Really Return?

Quick Reaction: The Los Angeles Dodgers have decided to keep their Ace pitcher Klayton Kershaw on the DL and won’t give a true time on when to expect him back. As of now, the Dodgers sit 4.5 back from the National League West leading San Francisco Giants. Being a pitcher, Kershaw only has so much say on whether or not the Dodgers come back and force a playoff spot in a cut-throat National League postseason race. But these games he misses could be very costly come October, this extra rest might make the game deficit too Giant an obstacle for the Dodgers to evade without Kershaw. (1)

Sources;

  1. http://m.mlb.com/standings
  2. http://www.theplayerstribune.com/yao-ming-my-rookie-year-rockets-china/
  3. http://www.theplayerstribune.com/kobe-bryant-letter-to-my-younger-self/
  4. http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/17112286/dallas-cowboys-running-back-ezekiel-elliott-tops-nfl-jersey-sales
  5. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Dallas_Cowboys_first-round_draft_picks


Headliners! 07-12-16

Udonis Haslem Says Miami’s Loss of Dwayne Wade Could Have Been Avoided

Quick Reaction; Of course last week’s Dwayne Wade trade didn’t have to happen. But Miami had to look no further than the opposite Nation’s coast’s franchise darlings in the Los Angeles Lakers to see what happens when you hold onto the high contract old-warrior as the Lakers did with Kobe Bryant. What are the odds of the Lakers making the NBA Playoffs next year? Think the Bryant death drain had anything to do with that? Why would Miami risk repeating that with Wade?

Minnesota Lynx Promote “Black Lives Matter”; Security Boycotts In Protest

Quick Reaction; It’s hard to take either side all in when it comes to police brutality and being made aware of it! The four cops that left in wake of the Lynx player’s protest is understandable, yet at the same time you can’t blame the Lynx for trying to use their vaulted platform to drive something they clearly feel passionate about. The one thing I can say for the cops that bailed their Target Center posts is this; if you feel under appreciated when you’re putting your own safety on the line at public events where the event’s main attraction is causing your lowered appreciation, you have that right to leave! Similarly, if you’re in a marriage where your significant other is mistreating you, you’re reserved that right to ditch out on that situation as well. The Lynx need to realize their protest was largely disrespectful despite however peaceful a movement they were originally trying to generate! (5)

87th MLB All-Star Features Ugly Fashion

Quick Reaction; Baseball is a nostalgic’s dream sport! The 2016 All-Star game is a prime example of how much the sport clings to that nostalgia driven agenda by bringing back the UPS flavored uniforms of the San Diego Padres that dates back to the 1970s and 80s. Yes, the uniforms are ugly but the best look is one of pride and wearing the brown and mustard yellow funked out unis shows off that pride. Will the jerseys do well in the fan market, probably not! But honestly ask yourself, when was the last time you wanted to buy an All-Star Game style jersey? That said, let’s just pray to the baseball God’s that Ron Burgundy blesses Petco Park and San Diego-ites… San Diego-ans, S-Sa-San DIEGONS! … San Diegons with his presence and makes an even greater night for nostalgia and baseball! (4)

Miko Grimes’ Social Media Post and Outburst Played a Part in Her Husband’s Termination from Miami Dolphins

Quick Reaction; When was the last time a social media presence worked out for anyone? The Miami Dolphins released Brent Grimes this offseason and the organization even stated Mrs. Miko Grimes’ actions were part of the problem. Miko reacted wrongfully again posting a tweet that, intended or not, had anti-Semitic references. Brent is still in the league but if Miko keeps up her unfiltered media presence one can only wonder how much her husband’s current employer (Tampa Bay Buccaneers) will put up with! (3) Still, the main question we need to ask is; Is a social media presence worth forgoing the successes of your life?

Rory McIlroy Says Golf Isn’t Important to the Olympics

Quick Reaction; “I’ll probably watch the Olympics, but I’m not sure golf will be one of the events I watch.” When pressed which events those would be, he replied: “Probably the events like track and field, swimming, diving… the stuff that matters,” said big-time golf star Rory McIlroy. Obviously some will disagree with both McIlroy’s demeaning and slanted view towards the golf event of the 2016 Rio Olympics. Still, one needs to consider that if this is how the sport’s bigger name feels and there is truth to Rory’s statement, then maybe the sport should be considered for Olympic removal. There are other sports that would be more appreciative of the nod, just ask the world’s top wrestlers if they would like to take golf’s spot in 2020, bet they won’t hesitate to fill in! Wrestling was cut from the 2020 event list in 2013. (2)

Sources:

1)https://www.google.com/amp/www.telegraph.co.uk/golf/2016/07/12/rory-mcilroy-belittles-golfs-return-to-the-olympics-insisting-he/amp/?client=safari#

2)http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/02/13/sports/olympics-may-drop-wrestling-in-2020.html

3)https://www.google.com/amp/www.nj.com/articles/18932327/miko_grimes_defends_apparent_anti-semitic_rip_of_m.amp?client=safari#

4)http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/look-no-matter-what-you-say-the-2016-all-star-game-uniforms-are-great/

5)http://www.citypages.com/news/minneapolis-cops-stage-walk-out-at-lynx-game-bob-kroll-slams-pathetic-attendance-8427285

6)http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/17019392/miami-heat-captain-udonis-haslem-wishes-convnced-dwyane-wade-stay

Headliners! 07-11-16

Tim Duncan Retires!

15 All-Star Game caps, Five NBA Championships, One Most Valuable Player award and all for one team! “The Big Fundamental” did it all while in San Antonio for the Spurs with the highest creation of class matched with the lowest of created controversy. Although he leaves like he played; quietly, his career should be highly reflected on and admired by people of all professions. Tip of the cap to #21, congrats on such a great career! (1)

UFC Sells for $4 Billion!

One can only wonder how long the UFC will be on the mountain-top of the combat sport’s World but it is remarkable to consider that Lorenzo and Frank Fertitta originally bought the UFC for $2 Million! Some can make an argument that the brothers could have sold it for more had trey waited a little longer. Right move or wrong move by the Fertitta’s it’s hard to complain about a +2,000% investment turn around! (4)

MLB All-Star Weekend; Take Notes NBA!

Major League Baseball may not pull the nightly media numbers that the NBA does, but at least they have the more entertaining All-Star weekend! Maybe it’s because the NBA is entering such a monopolistic regularity with “Dream Team” Free Agency acquires rosters that it leaves little for the spectator’s ASG imagination. Maybe it’s just that we’re starting to beg for things to entertain us as the dog days of summer loom, but MLB seems to do things right with their ALl-Star break. The Home-Run Derby features big name players like Giancarlo Stanton, Todd Frazier and Robinson Cano. The Derby may not feature the biggest names in the game but it’s better than the NBA’s Slam-Dunk Contest equivalent that relies on no-names annually rather than actual all-stars. Add in the fact that there is actual meaning in Tuesday’s MLB All-Star game with the winning League gaining World Series Home-Field Advantage, compared to the NBA’s pickup game vibe from their All-Star game… No comparison. Give me more of the Mid-Summer Classic, but keep me begging for it MLB! (3)

Portugal Wins the Euro 2016 Cup!

When Cristiano Ronaldo went down before the ’10 minute mark of Sunday’s EURO Finale, there was little of true optimism radiating from the Portugese loyalists. Little did they know they would find a new hero in keeper Rui Patricio. However, Patricio was not honored with the “Man of the Match” nod that went to Portugal defender, Pepe. I guess recording a seven save shutout is less dire for a team to win in a 1-0 game than a defender allowing a France attack to attempt 18 shots! …(*SMH)…  Patricio, your Sunday’s MotM in my book! (2)

Sources:

1)http://www.landofbasketball.com/nba_players/d/tim_duncan.htm

2)http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/2016/7/11/12142888/rui-patricio-euro-2016-final-portugal-france

3)http://m.mlb.com/news/article/189169400/all-star-lineups-unveiled-then-home-run-derby/

4)https://www.google.com/amp/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/reports-ufc-sold-and-for-whopping-record-price/?client=safari#

Headliners! 06-30-16

Klinsmann a Possible Candidate for the England National Team Coaching Vacancy

Quick Reaction: Nothing is set in this notion. Maybe Jürgen will be swayed by England by the English position’s added fame. But if he thought the critics were tough in a soccer-growing America he should just brace himself for how much harsher the critics are across the pond in an already football-established England, just ask the last English coach.

Andrew Luck Inks a Record Deal Worth $23.3 Million

Quick Reaction: A lot of people will say, let’s see if Luck can play up to this money following the Colts 2015 relapse in success. However, the real people that will need to step up in 2016 is the Colt’s team that Luck had been carrying for four years! Really, this deal is part of Luck’s future pay as well as past compensation for previous year’s workload!

NBA Free Agency (🎶) MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MON-AYYYY! (🎶)

Quick Reaction; Think a big timer’s contract like Luck’s is ludacris? Wait for NBA Free Agency’s numbers to come through after Thursday. Let’s just hope those professional stars live up to their pay, considering the numbers they will demand because they MUST given the new payment regulations!

Headliners 6-17-16

Italy tops Sweden in EURO 2016; 1-0

Reaction: Former Pierre St. Germaine striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic had no shots throughout Sweden’s scoreless showing early Friday. Have fun with him next year Manchester United, the front-runner team for free agent Ibrahimovic.

Stephen Curry Fouls Out and Gets Ejected in Game 6

Reaction: Nothing like a good meltdown and temper-tantrum! Curry was burning hot like the river-waters of Cleveland as he picked up his sixth foul Thursday night. The hissy-fit climaxed with Curry throwing his mouth piece at a fan. Interesting to see the water boil and Curry’s emotions finally starting to surface on the sleeves that are equivalent to the length of the MVP’s t-shirt jerseys.

NBA Conspiracy Believers Think the NBA is Fixed so Lebron Will Win Another Ring

Cavaliers fans thought the series was rigged after going down 3-1. Warriors fans think the series was corrupted following the collapse created in games five and six. Believe the interferences all you want, but keep a pending narrative in mind. The heartbreak of Cleveland has been real over the years! How much more harsh is that narrative if the Cavs fight all the way back just to lose game seven in the Bay Sunday night?

USA Holds On To Advance to COPA Semifinals; 2-1

Interesting journey the red, white and blue men are on. The road most likely leads to Argentina and Lionel Messi. I repeat; ARGENTINA AND LIONEL MESSI. Let’s just relish that win over the Ecuadorians Thursday night while us Americans can.